its been almost three years since my granny died, feb 6th, a date im never going to forget. since then i have almost changed over night, it happened when i was 11, part of me was screaming this cant be happening but deep down i knew..., it had hit me like a ton of bricks, when i was told about it i broke into tears immediately my mum saying "your grannies going to the angels", it wasnt fair, we arrived at hospital to see her dead in bed, all round her bed we cried my little sister hid under the near by chair it wasnt fair, she was only 5, when we arrived home my little sister ran up stairs into my brothers room i went after her then she burst into tears. i remember saying to her "its alright, we're strong, we're going to fight this!" i loved my granny dearly, she was like no one else i had ever known, she was like a shield, when the shield died i felt Vulnerable, at a point after her death i hated god wondering why he had done this to such a loving, kind woman. i have shyed away from people now, i used to be very sociable with people, i try but its so hard.

she died of fucking lung cancer from passive smoking.
age: 75 she had to spend her last birthday in hospital, we got a room out for her and some drinks but it wasnt enjoyable at all cos they all knew what was going to happen but i and my siblings didnt...

i felt so annoyed she had underlying cancer for 3 bloody years, i had spent most of my childhood with her so i felt so guilty that i hadnt noticed it at all, in the 3rd year she lost alot of weight, at one point she was so weak that she fell downstairs, she had also been coughing up blood so thats when we all knew thar something was seriously wrong.

her name: margaret pearl cully
relation: granny

songs that remind me of her "in the arms of the angel" "angels" "saddness and sorrow" "never gonna be alone"